Eudaimonia - The state and pursuit of self-excellence and full human potential
This post is going to be really different than the normal posts that you’re used to reading from me. This post is for dealing with difficult and tough times. It is applicable to any situation and is not limited to any specific occasion. This will not be a watchmaking post although a lot of principles do derive from it.
This post is a heart to heart human connection to you. I am approaching you first and foremost not as an acquaintance, colleague, or friend but rather as a family member, brother, or even as a mentor. If this helps even one person from going off the deep ends, consider my job complete.
THE NOVEL CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC
In tough times like the ones we’re currently going through (Coronavirus quarantine and shutdown), it is extremely important to take our actions seriously. I see a lot of people crumbling around me whether it is due to widespread panic, media-induced frenzies, and financial burdens. People seem to have lost law and order in the wake of the Coronavirus. Please do not take what I say and twist it. It is a very serious matter and all of the issues presented are real problems. I am in shape or form downplaying or saying the stress is not warranted. It is very real.
SHUTDOWN IN NEW YORK
As I write this, New York is shutting down. Non-essential work and businesses are closed. No social gatherings. Public schools closed. Only essential work and businesses are allowed to open (very limited albeit). People are going crazy with toilet paper, rice, and food supplies. People can’t afford rent. People are out of jobs. Mortgage is due. Bills need to be paid. It is a very interesting time indeed.
Please believe me when I say, we will get through this. We’ve gotten through many tough times before no matter how severe and serious. We will get through this. Maybe we’ll have a scar. Maybe we’ll have a scratch. But wounds will heal. We will come back stronger. This is not a matter of IF but a matter of WHEN.
I believe we will look back at times like this and be very intrigued and analytical of our actions. Whether we like it or not. Which leads me to my next point.
WE ARE WHAT WE DO. WE ARE NOT WHAT WE THINK OR WHAT WE SAY OR WHAT WE FEEL. WE ARE WHAT WE DO
I want to emphasize this because in tough times like this, chaos and disorder is easy. In situations like this, there are 2 options that we are presented with:
2 Ss when presented with a difficult problem/scenario/situation
Succumb
Succeed
Pretty straight forward right? Keep following me here and let me go through each one.
SUCCUMB:
We can easily succumb and give into the temptation and just let loose like what everyone else is currently doing. Give into the temptation of chaos and disorder:
Drop all other obligations to oneself and family.
Lose all aspects of daily structure.
Procrastinate and just slump all day.
Sulk about the negatives.
No motivation to do anything.
Feel like you lost a part of your identity
etc.
You get the point.
This is the easy route. This takes absolutely no effort whatsoever. If this is how you cope with tough times then so be it. Acknowledge it and own it. Just know that again at the end of the day, we are not what we think or say or how we feel. We are what we do. So if this is how you cope and deal with situations, great. Don’t trick yourself into thinking that you are solving the problem though. In theory, you are not spreading the panic (big difference versus informing others) but on the flip side, you’re not contributing to solving the problem either
If you are the head of your household, this is especially crucial. Your family looks up to you. What you do in tough times like this will reflect and speak loudly of your actions for years to come. Remember what I said, it is not a matter of if this will pass but a matter of when this will pass. 10 years from now, what do you want your reflection and insights to be on your current actions you’re taking today?
THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH RELAXING
If you are ok with your actions then so be it. The wonderful thing about eudaimonia is that you are living in pursuit and accordance with your virtues. If these are your virtues then great. I am nobody in the grand scheme of things to judge someone else.
There are times where you need to relax and chill out. What better time to do it then in a situation where the government is actually forcing you to stay home and not go out? “Netflix and chill” all you want. Eat good food at home (if you are a decent cook). Drink with family and indulge. If this is how you cope and relax, now is the perfect time to do so. This may be the introspective time you need to recharge to come back stronger when this is all said and done.
If you are not ok with your current actions, take control of it now. We are what we do. We can start now. YOU can start now. There is no reason why you need to wait til tomorrow.
SUCCEED:
In tough times like this, you can choose to be the rock that everybody can depend on. If you are going through hard situations like this and you are still able to:
Double down on your obligations to your family
Stay motivated and disciplined
Be productive (learning and studying)
Optimistic and positive
Maintain a level of order and continue on with your rituals
Good. I seriously applaud you and commend you for your discipline. Tough times don't last forever. Trust that you will get through this and that you will be 1000x better when we’re on the other side.
This is a time that you can spend to double down on your studies and learning. You can practice and work on your weaknesses without any interruptions. You can exponentially increase your level of efficiency, education, learning, and general skill development in any endeavor during this time. Spend it doing as much as you can because when society resumes, you will be back wickedly stronger whether it is mentally, physically, or spiritually.
In tough times like this, strong people remain strong. This is because our families look up to us. This is because our friends and colleagues look up to us. This is because we have something to prove to ourselves. We are in the pursuit and state of achieving our fullest potential. We will not let a crisis like this stop us from attaining our goals. Sure, we may deviate a little bit. We may take a few steps back or even to the side. But we do not stop. We did not stop.
BUT…
I want to tell you to remain strong. Tough and strong people are often very lonely mentally. You may be surrounded by lots of friends. You may be surrounded by a good deal of family. But because you’re so strong, you seldom have the luxury of relaxing and expressing your deepest feelings of your current state. You’re so busy being strong for everyone else, who is there to be strong for you?
TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST
An old tale and great analogy for this is the sun. The sun is so strong and powerful. It’s light and heat can reach far and wide. The sun works by giving its sunrays and light to everyone else across space and planets. It provides light and warmth to those around and far away. But how can the sun give its sunrays and lights to everyone else if the sun does not take care of itself?
Interpret this tale however you want. I just wanted to point this out to you. The concept still remains the same. Even the strongest among us need to relax every now and again. Just be smart and diligent during this time and keep doing what you are doing. Remember that at the end of the day, we are what we do.
WHAT YOU SAY AND FEEL DURING TOUGH TIMES MATTER
I’m going to be blunt since this is really how I speak. A large majority of my readers know this (if you’re new, welcome to the crash course).
NEGATIVE SELF TALK:
If there is ever a time for negative self-talk, now is not the time. What you say to yourself during times like this matters a lot. If you think that you can’t do something, chances are, you can’t. If every word and sentence out of your mouth is about something negative, you’re only prolonging the negatives. The negatives will be the only things you can see. You will have missed the positives that come with every negative. Believe it or not, your subconscious mind is listening to every single word you say and think. If you focus on the negatives, you’re training your mind to look and seek out only the negatives.
NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS:
You can be crying your eyeballs out. Society around you will not bat an eye. They may attempt to comfort and alleviate you. They may try to bail you out. They may try to help you. They MAY. This does not necessarily mean they WILL. At the end of the day, everyone has their own problems and yours is definitely the least of their concerns. This is not a joke.
GET YOUR HEAD IN THE RIGHT MINDSET:
Oftentimes the best solution is to take actions into our own hands and do whatever is necessary to get our task completed. Realize and recognize that sympathy from others is not what you need right now during tough times. It may provide a momentary relief from the burden of the problem itself but it does not provide a solution. Solutions are what you need right now. Not sympathy. What you need right now are options, paths, and alternative forms of thinking to get you closer to a solution.
WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DO DURING TOUGH TIMES MATTERS MORE
TACKLE THE HARDSHIP:
Face your problems head on to the extent that you can. Take some time to figure it out first though. Nobody should go to war without a plan. Tough times and hardships are rough but recognize that they are also wonderful opportunities to test yourself. The question is whether or not you’ll rise to the occasion.
Do you simply survive?
Do you persist and hang tight?
Or do you thrive?
Hardships and problems, no matter how severe, provide a harrowing insight to the testament of our own character. If we pass, great. We were able to persist and even thrive during hardship.If we fail, great. Of course it’s not ideal. It sucks to fail. It is oftentimes deeply horrific to fail.
The flipside is that it was also a good learning experience- no matter how severe the problem was. We can always learn something. If you do not learn from your mistakes and failures, you are bound to repeat them again. If you learn from your mistakes, rest assure, the chances of it happening again are slim to none. Remember, it is extremely unusual for prisoners to break out of jail twice without help from their jailor.
Take this time to improve upon your failures and mistakes. Fill in and fix the holes in your game so that you proactively don’t fall back into this situation again. Final note on this subject, it is always significantly easier and cheaper to lose now than it is to lose later in life- no matter what your age is.
CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN DURING TOUGH TIMES LIKE THIS:
When many things are out of your control, it’s easy to lose sight of your original picture and goals. Trying to desperately grasp at something solid to maintain our balance is a struggle in and of itself. Please remember that Eudaimonia is the state and pursuit of self-excellence and being the best version of yourself.
DON’T SQUANDER THIS TIME FOOLISHLY
As much as there are things out of our control, there are also many things within our control. Take this time to focus on your mental game. Read. Study. Stay productive. Fix and work on your weaknesses.
Need to lose weight? Do daily workouts with no more excuses
Need to improve on your skills? Practice and perfect your craft
Need to understand a topic more? Read and study more
Need to fix something around the house? Time to get shit done
Need to spend more time with family? Read, play, and teach each other
Need to work on a relationship with someone? Take this time to strengthen your bond
You get the point.
In life, we’re often told that we work ⅓ of our lives, spend ⅓ of our lives sleeping, leaving us with only ⅓ of our time to do what we actually want to do. The fact that most of the world is now forced to stay in-doors, we gained back ⅓ of the time. Do not squander and use this time foolishly. Take this time to improve and better yourself in any shape or form.
REMEMBER THAT WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS
It’s not a matter of IF we will get through this, it’s a matter of WHEN. This begs the question, when you get through this:
Are you going to look back at this time and say you were proud of your actions?
You should be proud and satisfied with your actions if you maintained your state and pursuit of self-excellence and being the best version of yourself.
Or did you let external circumstances (no matter how severe) deviate you and take you away from your ultimate pursuit?
I hope this small insight from me has helped you in some shape or form. Even if it provided a different perspective, I’ve done my part.